January 29, 2009 Volume CXXV Issue 1

Georgetown releases snow procedures

With winter in full swing on Georgetown’s campus, it seems like a good time to update the student body on the new cancellation procedures. Though Dr. Allen will still be making the final decision in the event of inclement weather, the actual options for courses of action have been significantly updated in lieu of the latest weather developments. The previous system had been left untouched in recent years, with fears of global warming leading many to believe that snow would not be a problem ever again. The latest bout of snowy conditions has changed that belief, however, and the board held an emergency session last evening to discuss new methods of cancellation. The following are some of the more relevant options that may be announced soon.

Plan B: This plan will reflect the school’s action if between .25 and .75 inches of ice should accumulate between 2 a.m. and 6:30 a.m. on days that start with “T.” In this situation, classes will be on a two hour delay, with the stipulation that while all roads on the perimeter of campus will be plowed and salted, the parking lots and Giddings Circle will remain untouched.

Plan K: This plan will be put into action should freezing rain that begins the night before make the transition into soft, heavy flakes overnight. If a passenger pigeon is sighted taking flight when Dr. Allen checks the accumulation in the early morning hours, the classes that start on every odd-numbered hour will be canceled.

Plan G: This plan will be implemented should somewhere between five and seven inches of snow fall and accumulate overnight and snowfall continues the next day. Phone and internet connections will be severed to the outside world and a solitary man with an axe and beard will be released to prowl among the students. The action will be filmed for theatrical release. The film will be called “Snow Day.”
Plan R: This plan will be sent out to students only in the event that extreme ice accumulation occurs, followed by several inches of heavy snow. If the snowfall occurs in the afternoon and evening of the previous day, administrators will wait until the early morning to cancel classes in order to maximize the suspense for everyone on campus.

Plan Y: This plan will only be implemented in the most extreme of conditions. Should multiple feet of snow fall and all students remain stuck, President Crouch will be annointed Chancellor of Winter and a 12 foot ice statue will be erected in Gidding’s Circle. All students will be required to make a snowy pilgrimage to the ice sculpture during the day, and the Caf will exclusively serve corn dogs.

Fashion “Do” of the week: “Do” look like Babar at a nationally-televised historical Inauguration event.




Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: