March 25, 2010 Volume CXXVII Issue 7

The sketchiest page ever

By JOEL DARLAND
Fifth ninja turtle

Knowing one’s roots is extremely important. So, as the cartoonist of The Georgetonian, I thought it might be important to see just where my great talent came from. So, I’ve selected a few very important relics from my artistic past to highlight some very important artistic developments. Please don’t copy any of this stuff. It is copyrighted and the museums who own these images would be very upset if you used them without permission. I know they are amazing, but please, restrain yourselves.

A good example of a cowboy with large arms and a very small head. Not much else to say, I guess. Big-arm-small-head cowboy. Yep.

Here is a prime example of a masterpiece I found. I dated it, meaning it was important to know when I did it, seeing how impressive it was. Perfectly proportioned and extremely detailed, this particular robot or alien was definitely worth remembering. I will probably be selling prints of these for $800 a pop. Just get in touch with me.

This is a pretty good castle, though none of the masonry lines up. In actuality, this castle would never pass code, but I’m not going to grow to be an architect so I don’t care. It’s called artistic vision, so shut up.

This three-panel cartoon represents an early and unsuccessful attempt at narrative storytelling. Is that a man wearing a dog mask, or some kind of anthropomorphic dog-monster? And just how did that guy end up with the collar and leash on his neck? There is nothing believable about this situation,therefore it is bad. Not to mention it’s very poorly drawn. Seriously, did a nine-year-old do this? Inexcusable.

disclaimer: the contents of the back page are not necessarily true