A Plague on All Our HousesBy PERRY DIXON
Back Page Editor/ The Boy Who Lived
At long last, we are approaching the end of the semester. It is the time of the year when every day stands in danger of feeling like the day Dobby died. If not careful to protect ourselves we surely will be emotionally crushed by essays, tests crammed in late before finals, terrible weather, depressing stays in the library or some dark corner of campus, looming grad school applications and relevant entrance exams, and the general malaise that is inevitably the result of enjoying Thanksgiving only to be thrust back into the tumultuous end-of- semester seas. All boats ultimately sink and this ship is currently tanking at breakneck speed. Perhaps this Editor’s current thoughts are relevant mostly to seniors who understand the competing desires to both escape and never let go of the last fall semester. Some days the feelings of escape are commanding and burdensome, while on others Georgetown does at times feel like the great place it proclaims itself to be. We have finally arrived upon the decision that confronts each of us the week or so before finals. We are in danger of despair, rapid hope loss, depression and defeat. However, the far preferable choice remains to accept things as they are, keep calm, carry on, and conquer the [expletive] out of academics for two more weeks or so.
Interestingly enough, there is a girl in this Editor’s biology class quite similar in appearance to Hermione Granger and this Editor suspects she has been using a Time-Turner to manage classes of late. This Editor will apprehend the device and immediately begin efforts toward replication and distribution to worthy candidates. For those unaware, a Time-Turner allows the person who possesses it to travel back in time to handle substantial course work or exam schedules. So long as it is only used for academic purposes and not in any attempts to alter the future, which likely would not work anyway, such a device would be exceptionally beneficial should Hermione choose to be so beneficent.
Most ominous of all, He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named has been quite silent of late. Ever working against the powers of good, one must worry that next semester could bring about the event of the Dark Lord’s resurrection and consequent attempt to regain dominion over the magical and non-magical worlds (both represented on campus, of course). The depressing nature of finals have clearly been orchestrated in an attempt to deprive we innocent students of the hope necessary to make a stand against such great evil. Thus far, we have been saved only by the worldwide nature of the Dark Lord’s pursuits. In his efforts to exercise his dark influence over various parts of the Muggle world near and far, He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named has found little time to take the souls from those of us who still resist for the sake of all that is good. This Editor has heard inklings from the House Elves, who happen to live in a massive combine stretching under the sidewalk between the LRC and Caf, that Dumbledore’s Army has once more convened to practice defense and strengthen resolve.
We need Dumbledore.
On a more serious note, there is always hope so long as even one person holds it to be so. We must make it contagious in order to make our last few weeks enjoyable; it is never good to feel as though one is merely surviving. Tell your friends you value them, send someone a note in the mail, smile, open doors for one another, do the right thing, celebrate when time allows, choose to be happy. Ideas for life quality improvement during these dark times are quite simple and accessible to all. If you find yourself stuck in the library, having studied all day and all night, depressed and near the end of your string, just leave. Go hang out with friends and get something to eat or to drink. At the end of the day, it is difficult to learn new material at this point in the semester. What most students fail to realize is that the battle has been fought all semester until now and it is useless to stress oneself out from the belief that a few percentage points will amount to anything a few years from now. There are of course those for whom those few points do matter. Simply put, that is really terrible and good luck to you good sir, or ma’am. If, like this Editor, you have the GRE, GMAT, MCAT or some other test destroying your life pursuits, hope may seem a bit further off for you than for some, but it still remains.
Finally, a bit of good news. If you, like this Editor, have a decent amount of library fines outstanding, there is a pretty good solution available. Nonperishable food items, collected for the AMEN house here in Georgetown, may be donated to alleviate fees. Up to a maximum total amount of $20.00, items, regardless of size, may be donated for $1 of credit per item. Suggested items include canned goods, dried beans, crackers, cereal, noodles, peanut butter, box pudding and cake mix. For each item you donate, $1 will come off of your library fees. Collections will go from November 29 until December 16. You save money while feeding those in need this holiday season; impossible to find a better immediate situation by which you may give. For further information contact Randall Myers of the LRC, at 863-8406, Rachel Combs at 863-8404, or Helen Beaven at 863-8405.
disclaimer: the contents of the back page are not necessarily true