October 26, 2011- Issue 5

Failure to Miscommunicate

The Back page

By GEORGETONIAN STAFF
Music-makers and Dreamers of Dreams
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In honor of those of us who routinely say the wrong things at the wrong time in the wrong way, the Georgetonian staff-writers present the “Ultimate Miscommunication Quiz!” Take a letter from the “Message” column and match it to the worst possible way to convey that message in the “Method” column. Then, try to remember NOT to convey your messages in similarly misguided ways. Your only inhibition is your own imagination….

MESSAGE

A)Do you want to go to this party/ event/ dance with me?

B)I really don’t think anyone read this book. I have better things to be doing and Dr. Burch’s ENG 112 class is kicking my [word that rhymes with “crass”]. People should know why I wake up in the morning.

C)Georgetown College will not be re-accredited. Sorry folks!

D)I believe I am racially superior to you [Note: Why in the world would you even think this?].

E)I ran over your cat with my golf cart.

F) I did not have sex with that woman.

G)Thank you for sending your love mail to the Back Page editor, mystery admirer! I wonder who you are….

H) Recently, I joined a cult– it’s actually pretty tight!

I) Your breath stinks.

J)I am the one who pranked you by putting My Little Pony party-supplies all over your room.

K)I am sterile.

L) We changed your bedroom to a game room since you went off to college.

M) I can’t go out Saturday night. I’m engaged.

O) Your graduation school admission has been rejected.

P) Your ex-boyfriend/ girlfriend and I are not dating (from a friend)

Q) Your IQ is 37.

R) Your mother and I are getting a divorce.

S) I am pregnant.

T) We should break up. It’s not you, it’s me.

U) Pass the salt.

V) Grandpa has died.

METHOD

1)Email

2)Ranting in front of Freshman Seminar students earning exaggerated re-tellings and unending jokes from the witnesses (especially Communi- cation Department faculty members) about the episode. This happened last year.

3)Tiger Tidbits

4)Phone call

5)Cafeteria Table Tent

6)Message in song delivered by the George Tones

7) Joke in Songfest skit

8)Post-card from Disney World.

9)Giant Goodyear blimp with an LCD screen.

10)Emergency alert text message

11) Post-it note on the fridge

12)Bring in the “Intervention” banner and invite the family physician.

13)Text Message (the normal kind)

14)Yell during a Boxer run

 15)Ask the secretary to list a prayer request in the Church Bulletin.

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16) Car paint

17) Bathroom grafti

18) Back Page of The Georgetonian.

19) Campus-wide address in John L. Hill Chapel

20) Facebook chat

21)Twitter

Answers

1. ____________

2. ____________ 3. ____________ 4. ____________ 5. ____________ 6. ____________ 7. ____________ 8. ____________ 9. ____________ 10.___________ 11.___________ 12.___________ 13.___________ 14.___________ 15.___________ 16.___________ 17.___________ 18.___________ 19.___________ 20.___________

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Disclaimer: The contents of The Back Page are not necessarily true and reflect the opinions of its editors solely. Answers to this quiz are not included. Let your mind run FREE thinking of all the possibilities. P.S. Check out my article on the Opinion page! -J.Balmer

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